


Hey Jealousy

by masterwords



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Aaron Hotchner Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hossi, Hurt Aaron Hotchner, Jealousy, M/M, Pizza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:29:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28056168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masterwords/pseuds/masterwords
Summary: A story in which Aaron Hotchner gets hurt and behaves a little foolishly, but Dave still loves him anyway.  (Fluffy soft, gentle whump.)
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/David Rossi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 46





	Hey Jealousy

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Valeria, who always leaves the most lovely comments for me! Valeria, ¡gracias por tu solicitud! Espero que disfrutes esta historia. ¡Esto es para ti! ¡Eress el mejor!
> 
> I have a hard time picturing Aaron being jealous, but I do think that if he was going to get jealous, it would be because he felt insecure stacked up next to these glorious women that Dave had been with and not because Dave was being sketchy.

Aaron Hotchner was 58 years old. He was tall and lean with amber eyes and salt and pepper hair that, try as he might, always retained a hint of the bedhead he woke with. It had always done that, and always would. He could be stern or he could be gentle, both with great ease. His son was young enough still to need him sometimes, but old enough to pretend he could do it all on his own until he messed something up. Sometimes he looked forward to retirement, and other times he didn't think he'd ever pull that trigger. On this particular day, a snowy Thursday in mid-December, Aaron was lying on the couch in his living room with the television on – Judge Judy, daytime TV, the television that only the sick watched. When he was younger, he never took sick days, but times had changed – his body was not what it used to be. After decades of abusing it, taking its strength and resilience for granted, it had given up the ghost. It needed more rest, more attention, more care. This was one of those times. The team had gone on two away cases back to back, almost three weeks with little sleep, tons of junk food and no days off. When they'd returned home, everyone got time off except Aaron, that wasn't how his job worked. His team disappeared for three days, sleeping and recuperating, while he sat in his office for 12 hours a day, shuffling between case files and meetings. On the morning of the fourth day his team would be off, his body had said enough is enough and as he showered, he passed out. It was unceremonious and painful, but worse than that, it was humiliating. Dave had still been asleep in their bed, gearing up for another blissful day off, while Jack was down the hall pressing snooze on his own alarm over and over again when the sound of his body hitting the tub echoed through the bones of the house. Dave shot out of bed and found Aaron lying in a naked heap in the bathtub, water pooling around him, his hair still full of soap suds. It was not his best look. Jack came rushing in moments later, and Dave held him at the door so he wouldn't see. When Aaron came to, Dave was using a cup to rinse his hair with ice cold water, double duty to get the soap out and hopefully bring him around. It was shockingly painful, made his scalp feel like it was being lit on fire.

Dave was giving him that worried look, and it took him a few minutes to piece together why. Why he was lying in the bathtub, why his head hurt, why his back hurt worse.

“What happened?” Aaron asked, dumbfounded. Dave's brow furrowed and he shook his head.

“You need a day off is what happened,” Dave replied sternly. “I'm calling Strauss, we were supposed to meet for lunch today but I'm canceling that.”

“No, no, don't cancel on her. I'm fine. Just tired.” It had been lies, of course. Mostly. He was tired, that wasn't a lie, but he'd also forgotten a few of his medications over the course of the last few weeks, different ones depending on the day, and he was fairly sure he'd forgotten his evening doses the night prior altogether. He wouldn't know details until he could check his pill box, and he wouldn't do that until Dave was out of sight. There were still private things, even now. Dave just gave him that look that infuriating look that someone who really knows you inside and out gives you while they're trying to decide whether to call you out or let you have what little pride still remains. In this case, Dave bit his tongue because Jack was still standing outside the door.

“Can you stand?” Dave asked, deciding to skirt the subject of why Aaron had fallen and just focusing on getting him out of the tub. Aaron nodded and put his hands on the sides of the tub, trying to pull himself into a sitting position but his back muscles seized instantly and he froze, grunting in pain. Dave shook his head and reached in, trying to help ease Aaron up. Every movement made Aaron groan or whimper, but when Dave would stop, Aaron would tell him to continue through gritted teeth – he didn't care how badly it hurt, he had to get out of the tub, he couldn't just stay there all day. Jack tossed some pants into the bathroom blindly, and Dave sighed, watching them land in a puddle of water at his feet. With some considerable effort, they'd managed to get Aaron dried off and into the pants with the wet leg, shuffling him out of the bathroom slowly.

“You're not going to work today,” Dave said, easing Aaron down onto the bed and Aaron sighed, nodding his head. He'd already known. Still, he'd work from home, he had so much to do. He just had to get Dave out of the house first.

And that was how he found himself on the couch, watching Judge Judy. He'd managed to convince both Dave and Jack that he'd be fine on his own if they could just help him to the couch so he was in close proximity to a bathroom, and food, and though he didn't mention it, his office where he could get some work done. These people that cared for him, they had left him with some toast and coffee before going their separate ways – Jack to school and Dave out meeting with his publishers and lunching with Strauss. Aaron muted the television when he heard his phone begin buzzing and saw Dave's name there.

“Hotchner,” Aaron said, a force of habit now. Dave laughed every time.

“How are we getting on today?”

“I'm fine, taking it easy like you said.” Mostly truthful. He'd been up the stairs to check the medicine cabinet, to take what meds he still needed to and count how many he'd missed, which was shameful even for him. He was probably lucky he'd only managed to throw out his stupid old back falling in the shower, after looking at which medications he'd missed and for how long. He'd been to the kitchen more than once for coffee and a carrot, of all things. He'd been in his office, on his laptop until his back couldn't take that chair anymore and that was when the couch became home. Daytime TV and a heating pad on his lower back that Haley had made him in Home Ec. class in high school. It was nothing more than some dingy Christmas Snoopy print flannel sewed around dried corn kernels – it smelled like musty old popcorn but it felt like heaven. He'd throw it in the microwave so long that it almost burned his skin and stunk up the whole house. He was, for better or worse, a sentimental man and though he'd cleared out much of Haley's belongings over the years, there were some things that would never be parted with. This heating pad being one of those things. It lived in the top drawer of his nightstand, and he used it almost every day, either for his multitude of aches and pains or just when he was cold, which was all the time. Jack had once joked that he'd make sure his father was buried with it, and Aaron had considered putting that note in his will.

“Would you mind if I had dinner with Hayden tonight?” Dave asked, his voice smooth and quiet, but just a little timid. Aaron was caught off guard by the question. He'd expected Dave to be home, to sit with him and take care of him – it was what Dave always did. He'd never let Aaron be sick or hurt alone, and the idea that he might tonight was a shock.

“I didn't realize she was in town...”

“Just called me, she and Joy are visiting for a wedding. Joy won't be joining us tonight, though, she's got some bachelorette party to be at. Hayden is supposed to be her designated driver and needs to be downtown ready to pick her up, she thought it would be nice to kill time catching up. Would you mind? If you need me home, Aaron, I am more than happy to decline.”

“No, no, don't say no on my behalf, I'll be okay. Go ahead, have fun.” He meant it. Mostly. There was a small part of him that maybe didn't mean it, that maybe was a little envious that Dave would be out with his fabulous and worldly ex who spoke French and could still drink wine with him, something Aaron couldn't do much anymore with all of his prescriptions and their various dietary warnings.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course. I'll see you tonight.” He did mean it, he did. He wanted Dave to have fun, he preferred to be on his own when he wasn't feeling well anyway. Like a wounded animal finding a solitary cave or a porch to hide under, he preferred to disappear until he was well again. There was only that small part of him that was hurt. Jealous, maybe, which was not really his nature but every so often it would make an appearance. When Dave said he loved him and hung up the phone, Aaron felt the little green monster writhe around in his stomach, just a little. He tried to ignore it, to drown it in more work emails, another carrot (why carrots today?), more coffee. So much coffee that he was electric and his fingers trembled slightly as he clicked at his keyboard. The coffee was upsetting his stomach and he found himself hyper-fixated on Hayden, for some reason. He even typed her name once in place of Emily, how or why he didn't know but he'd caught it at the last moment and had to go back and re-read an entire report just to make sure he caught all of the errors. He couldn't quite understand why he was thinking about her, he'd never given her much thought before – she was a part of Dave's life, and it had always just been fine. They had a child together, they were good friends. But she was so beautiful, and so interesting, and she and Dave had so much in common that Aaron couldn't be a part of. He knew he was being absurd, but he allowed it – he was exhausted and in pain and if he wanted to be a little upset that his partner had chosen to spend the day with one of his exes and then the evening with another instead of being home with him, well, he could fixate on it for a few minutes. Or hours, so it happened, until he'd forced himself to sleep in order to turn it off.

When Jack came home from school, Aaron was lying on the couch sleeping. He slipped quietly over and grabbed the heating pad he instinctively knew was there, throwing it into the microwave to warm it back up. He hated the way it smelled but he secretly loved the stupid thing, as much as he complained about it. Sometimes he'd sneak into his dad's room when he was away on cases and he'd sleep with it in his bed. It was something so simple, something that was both of his parents and made him feel secure. Once it was heated up to the point that it might nearly melt, he slipped it back into its place against his father's back and pulled the blanket up over him again to let him sleep. He had homework to do, so he emptied his backpack onto the kitchen table and set to it, feeling like he wanted to keep an eye on his dad instead of hiding in his room for the evening.

Math was torture, but he fumbled through it anyway. He found himself glad when he heard his dad stirring on the couch, a break for his eyes and his brain. Two hours he'd been at his homework, and he still had so much more to get done.

“Jack?” Aaron called, his voice sleep drunk and hoarse. “That you?” He couldn't sit up, his back was stiff and his muscles screamed at him even as he just tried to shift his hips.

“Yeah dad, it's me,” Jack replied, walking into the living room and having a seat on the coffee table in front of the couch. He peered down at his father, who still somehow looked so imposing lying there – Jack could never see him as weak, as small, he was impossibly big and powerful, he could do anything.

“What do you want me to make for dinner?” Aaron asked, not really having planned out how to get up off of the couch to accomplish that task. He knew he could, even if it killed him, and that was all that had crossed his mind.

“I already ordered pizza from Lorenzo's,” Jack replied with a smile, waggling his phone in his dad's face with a grin. “It'll be here in 20 minutes. Should we wait for Dave?”

Aaron felt something lurch deep in his belly and shook his head. “No, he's having dinner with an old friend tonight. Just you and me, kiddo.”

“Ok, cool,” was Jack's reply, and Aaron wished he was half as composed and self-possessed as his son. In truth, he'd never been that relaxed in his life – this was all Haley. She was always so calm, at least until he'd ruined her. He blamed himself for most, if not all, of Haley's eventual shortcomings. Whether it was truth or not didn't much matter anymore, she wasn't around to prove him wrong and if you asked most of her family they would all agree. Jack reached over and grabbed that mangy hot pad again and took it to the kitchen, returning it nearly a ball of flames. He helped his dad sit up, the pad against his lower back, and went back to his homework until the doorbell rang. The smell of the pizza filled the house, getting rid of that musty old popcorn smell immediately, and Jack dished them up and brought the food to the living room. They didn't eat out there often, it was mostly forbidden, but when his dad could barely walk he figured he could make that call. Still, he noted the side eye from his father, the look that said if he got pizza sauce or cheese grease on the couch or rug there would be hell to pay. They ate in silence, the news now muted on the television so they could talk but they didn't say anything. Aaron liked to watch the news, to see if any of their cases ever popped up, to keep abreast of things outside of his general scope – he was a simple, if not old fashioned man. He enjoyed reading the paper and watching the evening news, he enjoyed a cup of tea before bed and his raggedy old Snoopy heating pad.

“Thanks for dinner,” Aaron said softly, leaning back against the couch, feeling his muscles seize and relax, pulsing at his lower back. It was like having the longest charlie horse ever, right there above his tailbone. Jack told him he was welcome as he cleared the plates from the table and washed up quickly, throwing the dishes into the nearly empty dishwasher. Pizza night meant his chores were easy.

“Do you need anything before I go finish my homework, pops?”

“No, I'm fine. Go do your work kiddo. Come say goodnight before you hit the hay though okay?”

“You gonna be okay to get upstairs tonight?”

“Don't worry about me, Jack, I'll be fine. I'm going to hang out here until Dave is home.”

With a short, almost sad glance back at his father, Jack made his way up the stairs with his heavy backpack, ready to settle in with his music and his posters and his homework. Aaron shifted on the couch and let out a soft whimper, the sound of a man who was hurting inside and outside – his jealousy over Dave being out had morphed into a sort of sad hurt now. His mind had twisted it sometime during dinner, from a feeling of inadequacy when stacked up beside someone like Hayden to a feeling of sadness that Dave just wasn't here with him when he wasn't well. He knew that was just as ridiculous, just as untrue, Dave had offered to stay in tonight.

By the time Dave appeared sometime around midnight, Aaron was asleep again, curled up around himself on the couch, the television now playing late night talk shows. He woke slowly and uncurled his legs, forcing himself to sit up through the intense spasms in his back. Rubbing at his eyes, he watched Dave hang up his jacket and kick off his shoes by the door, sliding into the slippers he kept there. Aaron loved that Dave wore house shoes, fancy velvet slippers that clicked on the hardwood floors – he just wore socks, lived in them in fact, even slept in socks while Jack was barefoot as often as he could be. The three of them made quite the group. Dave pressed a kiss to Aaron's head softly as he walked by, heading for the bathroom to wash up after his night out – he always did the same thing. When he returned, he was fresh faced and softer around the edges, his robe now on over his pajamas and he settled down beside Aaron on the couch.

“How was your evening?” he asked, leaning against Aaron.

“Fine. How was dinner with Hayden?” He hadn't intended it to sound venomous, but that's exactly how it had come out. He felt Dave tense up beside him and knew that he'd sensed the little hint of jealousy.

“We had a lovely time. Wound up at the same little bar that Joy and her friends were at and danced until the girls were done.”

“Sounds like a good time,” Aaron sighed, shifting uncomfortably. Dave stared at the television, reading the closed captions scrolling across the bottom of the screen.

“Do I smell pizza?”

“Leftovers are in the fridge, Jack ordered us Lorenzo's.” Aaron's tone was clipped, partially because it hurt to breathe and partially because he was simply upset. Offended. He wasn't sure. Dinner had turned into dancing, while he was home miserable on the couch. Not that there was a thing Dave could have done that would have changed his night, he would have just had company. It shouldn't have upset him, it was childish, but it did.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No, it's fine.”

“You're lying. You're upset with me for staying out late, is that it?”

“No, you deserve to go out and have fun with exciting people.”

“Okay, so we're playing Twenty Questions now since you won't just tell me what's upset you. Are you jealous of one of my _exes_ , Aaron?”

“You,” Aaron began, just deciding to let it out. He was hurt and he had convinced himself it was justified. When you spent all day letting something snowball inside of you, it was nearly impossible to contain. “You did choose her over me tonight. I get it, it's not fun to take care of someone all the time and more often than not, that's what I need. I know I'm not as much fun, I don't speak beautiful French and I can't dance like her. I'm not,”

“Stop it, you beautiful idiot. Just stop. You're worth more to me than anyone else in this world – I don't care if you dance like a jackass or can't tell the difference between a Cabernet and a Merlot. I don't care that you need someone to help you sort your piles of prescriptions every week, you didn't ask for that. I don't care if your French is sloppy or if you prefer to get your pizza from Lorenzo's over Capone's. Alright, I do care _very much_ about that last one but I'll let it slide tonight because you're not feeling well. Aaron, she's my _EX_ -wife, and there is nothing more to say about that. I cherish our friendship, we have a beautiful daughter together, but that is _all it is_. There is _never_ a comparison. I'm going to give you a pass for being so ridiculous tonight because I know you're in pain, but don't let it happen again.”

Aaron nodded, resting his head now on Dave's shoulder. He knew better, but sometimes it was good to hear it. Sometimes he needed reassurance that he wasn't a burden. Not long after, Jack made his way downstairs to say goodnight, and like the angel he was, heat up his father's stinky old heating pad one more time. Aaron couldn't figure what he'd done to be so fortunate, but he was sure thankful.


End file.
